Midterms

This is my first experience in university with midterms. Last semester was easy. I had quizzes and the biggest test was open book and online. So I got off super easy. But suddenly this semseter it seems like all of my professor thought we were into the groove of school and that it's time to make everything a level harder.
Whenever I study, I can only think of all the other things I would rather be doing. Music for me is a big thing. Whenever I sit down to study with some good music, I get distracted by the music and picture myself making some music and then I really want to go play piano or guitar or sing.
But another thing I always think of when I hear some epic music while studying, is me doing so well on the test.
To elaborate, have you ever seen a movie where the main character is faced with a conflict and they're struggling to deal with the problem. Then he or she realizes that they must change themselves. Then the inspirational scene comes on where it shows them doing many different things that are leading up to solving the problem, and in the background is some inspirational music?
For example, my favourite movie (that I might finally be growing tired of...) is "What a Girl Wants." A young American teenager wants to find herself. She feels that she isn't complete unless she goes to England to meet her father for the first time, who is a member of Parliament. She leaves New York City and enters into the posh society of London.  She realizes she isn't fitting in, and thinks she must change herself to solve the issue. Then comes on the inspirational scene where she is buying nice clothes, removing her black nailpolish, piercings and crazy jewlery and trying on very English-fancy outfits.

Thats the kind of scene I imagine when I'm studying. There's me getting into studying, memorizing everything, and doing super well on my test, all with the inspirational music in the background.

But it looks like inspiring music won't help me on this test, so back to work.

relat-ions-hips

Relationships.
I've been thinking an awful lot about relationships lately. And it's not all about me, actually, it is. I've been thinking about the relationships around me. The ones I have and the ones that don't exist (isn't that sad?). It seems like I was so close to finding routine in my life, and I had a bunch of goals for this year (as previously posted), and everything was going to be all right, and then suddenly everything I had planned for this year was taken away from me. The relationships almost all of the people in my family have had a reason to change- some relationships were started and others seem to be paused (but not quite broken). I started this year off very hopeful, and then a few weeks later I was so unexpectedly hit with so many changes. And I'm not too good at handling change.

This past weekend I went to a retreat-type-thing where I got to relax and also grow a lot. It was challenging but also super great. I ended up sharing a devotional on worrying, which is something that is so relevant to my life.
The reason that I'm sharing this? Because now as I was writing the last paragraph I thought of just how much God can use me to not worry so much even amidst all the change.

Man. This blog did not go where I expected.
God is working in my life, and will continue to until the day I die and live in paradise- unless the rapture comes before that...

Goodnight!
Christi